The very first step that you have to do is to stop claiming yourself as a victim and speak being a survivor into life. Although you may be experiencing domestic violence in your life, it does not have to define you. During the time that I was being abused physically and verbally, I kept telling myself that I was going to survive.
Do not under estimate the power of words, especially the words that you tell yourself. Even when your abuser is telling you that you are worth absolutely nothing, you must continue to tell yourself that they are lying. Focus on who God created you to be. God created you to be fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14 (King James Version)
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
When you speak as if you are a victim, then you will always be a victim. That is exactly what your abuser wants you to believe. When you act as a victim you are continuing to give your abuser power and control over you. The moment you speak of being a survivor you will begin to act as a survivor and as a result you will take the power away from your abuser and your healing can begin.