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My Story

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When I was in high school and even through my first few years of college, I always wanted to feel like I was part of the 'in' crowd. I was no different than every other student. When I was shown the slightest bit of attention from a man, I forgot all about what I had been taught about who I was as a young woman. Before Jesus became my Lord and Savior, I allowed others define who I was meant to be a women.

For the first 6 months everything was let me tell it, absolutely perfect. At the time that I met him, I was home during summer break. I can remember this like it was yesterday. I was supposed to leaving back to school within the next week. This was mistake # 1. I said, "Why don't you just follow me down to school?"

Of course, he agreed without hesitation. Then came mistake #2, I had to lie to my parents for the first time in my life about something big. When it came time for me to move into my apartment, my mom asked him to come so that he could help carry the heavy boxes up three flights of stairs. He returned to our home town with my mom and had her drop him off at a friend's house. The following weekend, he packed and moved into my apartment. We continued to lie to my parent's about our living situation.

Then one night we out to the club, that ended up being the first time that he beat me. Due to my insecurities, I allowed him to apologize. He then proceeded to convince me that it would never happen again. For a while, it didn't happen and things seemed good between us.

Then the truth started to come out leading to mistake #3. I found out that he was still married to another women. Once again, I believed him when he said that they were legally separated and divorce proceedings had already started. I believed his lies. The verbal abuse became constant and more intense along with the physical abuse.

Then another truth came out. He had been incarcerated and was on parole in our hometown. When he left to move into my apartment, he did not notify the authorities. They had found out about the move and our relationship. I was being followed on a regular basis. Mistake #4 came next. I believed his lies once more and gave him my support. After he was arrested again, I was stupid enough to go visit him on the weekends.

While he was incarcerated, there would be weekends that I couldn't go becasue he was meeting with his wife to supposedly discuss their divorce. He continued to convince me that his heart was with me and only me. Mistake #5, even though the beatings included being punched with a closed fist, hit in the chest, face, body slammed, put in the trunk of a car, beat with a ironing board, choked, slammed on the wall just to name a few. I still accepted in apologies.

Then his ex wife became pregnant, but couldn't get an apartment because of her credit and the fact that she couldn't pass a background check because she had a warrant for embelzzement. Mistake #6 He moved his ex-wife into my house with what turned out to be also his child. I continued to pay all household bills, food, etc.

Mistake #7, even though he claimed to want to be with me only, he still acted as if he was with her as well. His ex-wife then had another baby, by supposedly another man. He then proceeded to claim both of him as his children. In short, that meant even though by this time we had been together for 6 years, he had two children under age 6 with another woman.

I continued to take care of the children as if they were my own. I taught them how to walk, eat, count, etc. As usual the verbal abuse and beatings continued on a even more frequent basis. The ex-wife witnessed much of the abuse and did absolutely nothing.

Mistake #8, I continued to allow him to destroy my relationship with my parents by allowing him to turn me against my parents. I allowed him to use money that was for the mortgage that my dad bought me for his own personal usage. Once the house went into foreclosure procceedings, my dad had to purchase the house. Not once, but twice then my dad said no more. My dad told me that I could no longer live in the house and that I had to move. I moved into a apartment and took them all with me.

Mistake #9, I allowed him to convince me to move to a apartment in another state. The ex-wife, two children, and him moved with me. The abuse continued along with numerous affairs. I continued to take care of the children. Both the ex-wife and I worked, while he did absolutely nothing.

Mistake #10, I got another house thanks to my dad. I got the ex-wife an apartment for her and the two children. I continued to drive them around everywhere necessary. The beatings and verbal abuse continued.

Then I found Jesus, it still took me two years, but Jesus got me away.

Now read about my New Beginnings