For many of us, myself included we become an enabler for our abuser. It is not something that we do on purpose, but that we do. I believe the number one way that we become a enabler is that we keep the secret.
The famous words of my abuser was, "You better not tell anyone." Then we tend to do just that, not tell anyone. We will lie for, cover, and attempt to hide the truth. When we create a state of secrecy, we create the perfect setting for our abuse to continue.
Domestic abuse is something that we are ashamed of and especially if we still have a victim mentality, think we deserve even if we would never say it out loud. I know, that for many years, I believed my abuser when he would tell me I wasn't worth anything and that he made me.
As sick as it was, for a long time I thought I could not survive without him. Therefore, I kept our secret and until I exposed the secret the abuse could not and would not stop. It took God working through me to get the secret out. God will always reveal what is hidden.
Read Job 20:26-28 (King James Version)
Once the secret was revealed, my escape began and so can your escape. Don't enable your abuser to have the privelege of secrecy about your abuse any longer.